Happy New Year

Thank GOD for the new year.  I have been looking forward to the start of a "new year" but I wasn't sure what I was looking for.  I mean, really, it's just another day.  I don't know why, but I really do feel better.  It's like a breath of fresh air.  Maybe it's because we're done with holidays (until my birthday, which then brings a whole other annoyance, but we will get there in time).

Here's to a brand new year.  Hopefully one a lot better than the last. 

December...

I am so thankful that this month is almost over.  It's been long and the hardest yet.  I haven't been in the mood to update our blog.  I'm finally getting there I think.  I'll start with a few pictures.

Since Kyndal wasn't here to give gifts to, we decided to adopt an angel with the Salvation Army. The information is in my Thanksgiving in Heaven post here. 

Her gifts.

Honestly, this helped me, A LOT.  I'm finally able to go in the infant girls section without immediately bursting out in tears.  I still get little anxiety attacks, but they're not as bad as they use to be.  It was so much fun being able to do this.  We were able to help someone, and able to buy gifts we would have purchased for Kyndal.

And now.  A picture of Caylee and her loot.

I went thru every picture I took of her, not one smile! I can tell she's excited in some of them, but anyone else would think she was mad. Oh well!

Merry (late) Christmas everyone. 

Can't WAIT for the New Year.

Thanksgiving In Heaven

Today was Kyndal's first Thanksgiving.  It may have been in heaven, but she was here in our hearts.

Buddy came home at 9 AM.  He wasn't supposed to be here until later, but he got to leave work early.
{I'm Thankful for a job that pays the bills} 
We spent the whole day together.
{I'm Thankful for a husband who wants to spend time with me}
 Caylee went to Thanksgiving at the farm with my family.  She had a blast.
{I'm Thankful for my family}

It was nice to just spend time with Bud.  I miss that alone time. We sure did miss the little miss though.

{I'm Thankful for a happy AND healthy 2yr old who means the world to me}

Today was hard, I'm not going to lie.  I heard some good news, that also made me sad. 

{I'm thankful for growth}

I missed my baby girl all day today. I've been fighting away tears since it started, picturing her here with us.  I need to try to focus on her happiness where she is.

{I'm Thankful that I got to spend 9 precious months with Kyndal before she went to be a perfect part of heaven}

I decided to adopt an angel this year. A 5 month old little girl.  I hope to do this every year, I was going to buy Kyndal presents, so why not help a little girl out that is in need?

{I'm Thankful that I am able to do this, even if it's not much}

Click here to adopt your own angel

I'm excited.  I get to buy her things I would have got for Kyndal.  Maybe this will help me AND her.

{I'm Thankful for the LORD, and His healing hands}

Halloween

Today has been a roller coaster.  We're staying in tonight.  I'm *kind of* excited about trick or treaters, another part of me is wondering how I'm going to react to kids coming to my door.  I'm sure Caylee will all kinds of love it!

Last night we had our Fall Festival at the church.  It was really fun.  Everyone was amazing.  Caylee really enjoyed the puppet show (who am I kidding, so did I) and she even got her face painted.  There were a few babies there that made me sad.  Kyndal would be very close to their age. I wanted to grab them and love all over them, but I knew that would just make it worse.  I am not looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas without my baby. 

On a side note, I plan on making a recipe from Pinterest tonight! I will post how it comes out and a link to it once it's been devoured. 

Here's a picture of Caylee when we got home from the fall fest.

Yes, the girls gave her a very high side ponytail, and she would NOT move her drink away from her face for a good picture.  She still looks adorable.