Thanksgiving In Heaven

Today was Kyndal's first Thanksgiving.  It may have been in heaven, but she was here in our hearts.

Buddy came home at 9 AM.  He wasn't supposed to be here until later, but he got to leave work early.
{I'm Thankful for a job that pays the bills} 
We spent the whole day together.
{I'm Thankful for a husband who wants to spend time with me}
 Caylee went to Thanksgiving at the farm with my family.  She had a blast.
{I'm Thankful for my family}

It was nice to just spend time with Bud.  I miss that alone time. We sure did miss the little miss though.

{I'm Thankful for a happy AND healthy 2yr old who means the world to me}

Today was hard, I'm not going to lie.  I heard some good news, that also made me sad. 

{I'm thankful for growth}

I missed my baby girl all day today. I've been fighting away tears since it started, picturing her here with us.  I need to try to focus on her happiness where she is.

{I'm Thankful that I got to spend 9 precious months with Kyndal before she went to be a perfect part of heaven}

I decided to adopt an angel this year. A 5 month old little girl.  I hope to do this every year, I was going to buy Kyndal presents, so why not help a little girl out that is in need?

{I'm Thankful that I am able to do this, even if it's not much}

Click here to adopt your own angel

I'm excited.  I get to buy her things I would have got for Kyndal.  Maybe this will help me AND her.

{I'm Thankful for the LORD, and His healing hands}

Bricks

Today was good, and then everything just hit me like a ton of bricks.

A Internet friend posted about her sister, she is pregnant with twins (16 weeks) one has passed away and the other will most likely not make it unless a miracle happens.  I am bawling for this family, she has lost a baby of her own.  I wish I could do something to help them.  

This on top of other things, has me tore up tonight.  I miss my baby. Please say a prayer for them, for strength, a miracle, something. 

 "Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted."

Matthew 5:4

Happy Sunday

I stole this idea from an awesome blogger, Julie.  Her story is very similar to mine.

Visit her blog Joy's Hope to see her story.   

The Rest of This Week

This week has been very up and down (which is to be expected).  Grandma, Caylee and I went to Sams and picked up ingredients to make her homemade rolls.  

When we started making, I followed her around and made her measure every.little.ingredient. 

 I mean, doesn't this batter look delish?

I got the recipe jotted down and we went to separating (after it rose of course)

Yes, her hands are clean.  We made 24 rolls then grandma made 24...

Dun, Dun, Dun...

Pure delishishness.

Everything turned out amazing.

I made the rolls for Thanksgiving at my in-laws tonight, and I think they turned out pretty good.  We had fun today.  It doesn't always cancel out the bad in the days, but it helps. 

I will always miss my baby.  Not a day goes by that I'm not constantly thinking about her.  I want to talk about her all the time, but I know it isn't always fun for other people to hear about her.  It will always make people uncomfortable, that's just something I have to get use to. 

"All things work together for the good of those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose."

Romans 8:28

Tinfoil Chicken

A-mazing recipe.  Fast and simple!

Ingredients:

Tinfoil

4 Chicken Breast

1 box Stove Top Stuffing

Seasoning of your choice

Broccoli

Cauliflower

Ranch

Cheese

Chicken stuffing, and Salt Lick seasoning.

I pre-cooked the stuffing, although it was really moist when I pulled it out, so you don't HAVE to pre-cook it.

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees

Cut 4 pieces of tinfoil
Spread the stuffing evenly between the four pieces
Set chicken on top of stuffing
Season
Add broccoli and Cauliflower on top of chicken
Add cheese
Put a little ranch on top
Cup tinfoil
Add a little water
Put in baking dish

If you use thick chicken breasts like I did, cook for 1hr 15mins

If you flatten your chicken cook for 50 mins

Easy peasy

When Buddy gets home I plan to make this with Bacon instead of veggies.  I will let you all know how that turns out. I'm sure he will love it.  He HATES veggies.

Thank you AshleyAnthony2B from BOTB for this recipe.

Death Certificate

It's not a good day when you wake up to a call from a funeral home, asking you to come pick up your baby's death certificate. 

My phone rang, waking me up, I didn't answer because I didn't recognize the number.  Checked the voicemail and my day went downhill.  So I got up, did my work out and asked Kate to watch Caylee for me. 

I went by H.E.B. sobbing the whole way.  Picked up some flowers, and went to see my baby where her body will always be.  It was raining like crazy.  I haven't been by there in two weeks. TWO WEEKS. I feel like a horrible mother.  I gave her flowers and stood in the rain, watching her flowers get soaked and her fresh grave get wet.  I felt like the Lord was weeping with me, letting me know He feels my pain. 

When I left there I went to Brazos Valley Monument to look at some headstones.  I figured I was already in a sour mood, why not try to look for a headstone then.  I have an idea of what I like, I just need to run it by Buddy.  Whatever we get will have a laser print of her beautiful face. 

I left there and picked up her Death Certificate.  I guess that makes everything even MORE real.  It's never settling to see this

I miss my baby, and even though my heart is broken I know I will be with her again one day.

Thank you Kristen for this scripture.

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed."

Psalms 34:18

One Month

Happy one month in heaven my beautiful Kyndal Grace.

One month ago today we said hello, and then goodbye to our angel baby.  Today has actually been a good day.  I went on a shopping trip with the church girls, (window shopping) it was nice to keep my mind occupied on a day like today. 

Kristen and I were talking an the way home, and I was telling her about praying for Kyndal, and all the babies in our church.  I always prayed for the Lord to have His way in their lives and to use them for HIS glory.  I truly believe He answered my prayers for Kyndal.  As bad as I want her here with me, I think she had a greater purpose, she fulfilled it and is waiting on the seeds that were planted to grow with the help of the people who's lives she impacted.

When my heart is breaking, You're still worthy.
Hallelujah,
It is well with my soul, YOU are in control.

Through sorrow and pain, victory or blessing, persecution, prosperity, I'll be praising you

I didn't make this video so please ignore the intro stuff.

"I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."

1 Samuel 1:27