Saturday, January 28, 2012

It gets better...

But then, it gets worse all over again. 

You think you're invincible, nothing can trigger your emotions.  Then you're knocked clear across the room and you don't even know how you got there.  How can you be so happy for people, but so sad for yourself at the same time? 

These emotions are not something you really know until you've gone through this or something similar.  I don't even know if losing a loved one that's NOT a child of your own can compare.  I hope I don't have to find that out. 

 I'm not happy being here, but I don't want to be any lower than this.  When you've hit, what you think is rock bottom, there's no place to go but up, right?
There are times, I wish I knew the future.  Maybe that would make things easier.  But, who knows, it might make it worse. 

Where do you go in your life, when you feel like there's nothing to look forward to?  I guess only time will tell.  All I know is, a piece of me is missing.  I'm struggling to fine that piece...how do you find it when it's know where to be found?  Do I just let it sit there? That hole in me? Time will heal it I guess.  Can I have a fast-forward button please?  I'm tired of sitting here.  Who knows, maybe I'm marinating for something greater.  So many possible things could be happening with me.... all I know is that a big part of me is gone, and I will only see it again the day I'm called home to be with her.

1 comment:

  1. I could have written this exact post. ((HUGS))

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