It's not a good day when you wake up to a call from a funeral home, asking you to come pick up your baby's death certificate.
My phone rang, waking me up, I didn't answer because I didn't recognize the number. Checked the voicemail and my day went downhill. So I got up, did my work out and asked Kate to watch Caylee for me.
I went by H.E.B. sobbing the whole way. Picked up some flowers, and went to see my baby where her body will always be. It was raining like crazy. I haven't been by there in two weeks. TWO WEEKS. I feel like a horrible mother. I gave her flowers and stood in the rain, watching her flowers get soaked and her fresh grave get wet. I felt like the Lord was weeping with me, letting me know He feels my pain.
When I left there I went to Brazos Valley Monument to look at some headstones. I figured I was already in a sour mood, why not try to look for a headstone then. I have an idea of what I like, I just need to run it by Buddy. Whatever we get will have a laser print of her beautiful face.
I left there and picked up her Death Certificate. I guess that makes everything even MORE real. It's never settling to see this
I miss my baby, and even though my heart is broken I know I will be with her again one day.
Thank you Kristen for this scripture.
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed."